I just want to encourage another believer. I just went through a short season where I felt defeated because I failed some tasks and didn’t overcome some hurdles, I was not obedient to some of His instructions. The voice of self-condemnation was so loud and everything around me just seemed to confirm my worthlessness. So everyday I nagged the father, seeking Him in repentance, acknowledging my weaknesses and bombarding him with questions. Most times I felt I was just being ridiculous expecting Him to turn a blind eye on all my trash! But I also knew I couldn’t change me, I couldn’t make me a better person on my own …eehhmm believe me, I tried many times!
After going through a period of seeking Him I suddenly felt better and restored. So I went back to the Father and I inquired, Lord what was that all about? He then says, Hazel, that was My way of bringing understanding. He wanted me to know where my heart truly was and also to show me the true condition of my heart. The test was to bring to my attention what i was habouring in my heart and how little I knew Him. He says, when things don’t seem to be going right will you still know who I am? will you still know who you are? Will you still trust me? The phase was to strengthen your faith.
Well I don’t know how i scored, but one thing is for sure, I got a glimpse of the Father heart of God 
.
He says I need you to believe my word when I say….. come as you are…. that no weapon formed against you will prosper….. that there is no condemnation in those that are in His Son….
I had a vision of a little boy in the playground who got hurt whilst playing, he immediately ran to his father to for help. His father attended to him with love and compassion, wiped off the dirt and blood, and applied healing balms, in no time the boy was up and running and back in the playground with others kids.
I then had another vision of a boy who also got hurt whilst playing, he thought to himself I cannot go and show my father this, ohh boy he will beat me up, he will be so mad at me and I am shamed and afraid that I have disappointed my Father. So the little boy decided not to go but try to attend to his wound, he thought to himself hmmm, after I am healed I will then go and show my father. So the boy tried all kinds of tricks and self medication to heal the wound. But the more he tried the worse the wound became causing it to become septic and and very painful. Harmful bacteria started breeding and spreading from the injured area into his blood stream causing him to be very sick. His father noticed that the boy was not well and called on him but he would not answer. His father sent his other brothers and sisters to help him but he would not answer their calls either. He did not answer because he felt guilty and ashamed, he felt he had let his father down and that he had disappointed Him.
This last boy is a resemblance of who we have become as Christians. We have been caught up in the enemies skeems and tricks and felt ashamed to come to the Father because
1. Of the perception we have of our Father, that He is this mean, stern and grumpy old man who does not tolerate any kind of sin or mistakes. You know that’s a complete lie right? When He says I am Light and Love that is it, that’s exactly who He is. Everything he does is out of love. Remember Love is “patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love never ends…”
2. What ever injuries you may have sustained, you keep to ourself because you think no one will understand or you feel that no one can help you. Well that maybe somewhat true; as mere mortals we have limited capacity, but the One who lives in you does not! Go to the Potter the one that created you, He knows every intricate part of you, He will help you and heal you. When you are left untreated, those conditions create the perfect environment for potent bacteria’s such as self-condemnation to start breeding, causing the wound to become septic. In some cases, the trauma of the wound may cause irreparable damages and sometimes can lead to your death.
It does not matter how big or small, or how old your wounds are, I encourage you to run to the Father, His arms are wide open, actually it really pains Him to see you in that condition. If your earthly father loves and cares for you, what more the One that never sleeps or slumbers because he watches over you day and night. That’s how much He loves you.
Hazel Namponya
What is the Truth? 