IS IT BEHIND OR BESIDE EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN A WOMAN?

There is an incomplete misconception about a woman’s place when it comes to her husband. I’m sure you have heard statements like “behind every successful man is a woman” and the more new-age version which says “beside every successful man is a woman”.  Well both statements are true, but are only a fifth of the truth.

There are 5 positions that a woman takes around her husband, all equally important and have their appropriate time and function. Please note that I am referring to a husband, not your “man” “boyfriend” “friendrelationship” whichever other terms are used these days. I want to refer to the Husband because only he has the ability to allow you and expose you to these 5 positions, besides I would never encourage any woman to throw these “precious pearls to pigs”, wasting her virtues.

Position 1- On his RIGHT side 

This is his hand of strength, his arm of trust and his hand of rulership/leadership. Here you will serve his emotions and ego. You rule and reign with him as his Queen.

Position 2 – On his LEFT side

His hand of weakness and his vulnerable arm, shielding his heart. On this side you’re his shoulder, his comfort, confidante and advisor. Serve him well.

Position 3- BEHIND him

This is his blind spot. In this position you have his back, you look out for him, support him and trust him to lead you.

Position 4- In FRONT of him

You are his warrior there are battles that you need to fight on his behalf, sometimes he will never know about them because most of these battles will be fought in the closet on your knees.

Position 5- BENEATH him

This is your position of submission and servitude, serving him and those around him. This is the most important position because this is the position that you fully express the woman in you, the nurturer the caregiver of life and the homemaker in you. You will realize that you will spend more time in this position than the others.

Throughout your marriage you will rotate between these positions as your relationship goes through its seasons.

Lots of love in the new season… have a lovely 2018.

Hazel Namponya

writewordscreate@gmail.com

Who do you blame for your failures?

For so long I have been one of those that never held back in expressing how I felt about the current situation and how lousy my life has turned out to be because of it. I’ve been blaming the African poverty situation and anything associated with it. I have always felt robbed of my youth, I would have been far in life if everyone else had been more responsible, including those that lived before me, if they had stopped being self-centered and thought about the next person! I’m fast approaching 40, I am a mother of 2 still living at home without a job. I’ve ventured the entrepreneurial route but in this suppressive and corrupt economy you can only go so far. Without solid connections or willingness to part with an “under the table gratuity or favours – in whatever shape of form”, coupled with the frail economic conditions, there are just not enough opportunities to go around, sustain or grow a business especially a start-up. Oh! where are my manners? Of-course I admit that my “seemingly failures” can also be attributed to some of the bad decisions I made and messed up or opportunities missed. …. But I will come back to that someday, right now I have a tone of other things to blame.

Yeah don’t judge I am just being honest! 

I have no choice but to open up to a possibility of a brighter future, sometimes the thought is exhausting because it seems to far. Today, as usual I visited my blame closet only to find it chained up and locked, I was like what the heck? I need that now, I need my blame closet… who’s shut it and why? Standing in front of that locked door whilst trying all sorts of tricks to pick or break the lock, I had a flash back…. Yes, a flush back in a flashback… it happens, s’true! Watch Nigerian movies. In this flashback I had a conversation with the Holy Spirit (I’m convinced it is, only He can be that smart!), He said, Hazel do you know that every generation has to leave an inheritance for the next, but every generation has it own battles to fight and they fight them for the next generation not for themselves. Some generations have had to go to war for your liberation, some have had to work hard and save for the next generation, some have to deal it with diseases so that a cure can be found for you, some poverty so that you can have wealth. The list goes on.

To illustrate my point, think about a farm or vineyard, every generation has its own role to play, but that role is not to benefit you, it is so that the next phase of farming can take place. In your case, your generation has to had to go without certain privileges so that your next generation can have them. They will also have to their own challenges but the laborious times are ultimately supposed to teach you that we are not here for our own gain. You are the simply here to plough or weed, or water or prune, or fumigate the vineyard. All these activities build up to just one purpose, and that is the great harvest.  Whichever way you look at it, nothing in this world is ever yours. This is why when you die you leave everything behind. I am not here to discourage you from living life, even in farming, labours do get time off to rest and enjoy other pleasures, but don’t be fixated on that or lunch benefits, you are here to work, seasons come and seasons go, they never last long, the dawn of a new season always ushers in a new dispensation a new phase and a new task for the next generation to take over. So do what you are here to do!

Hazel Namponya

Blog: WordPress-What is the truth?

Blind SPOTS

It just hit me! I don’t know how I have gone all my life not knowing this yet it’s in plain sight.

Pessimists (a person who tends to see the worst aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen) are good for you, they are good to have around you because they are your blind spots. But they must never linger around a situation for long especially after the issue has been resolved or a solution has been crafted. This is because you might end up focusing your attention on the blind spot rather that the road ahead, you will end up in a tragedy.

Let me explain this a bit further, when you are about to make a significant move, it’s impossible to have a 360-degree view of what the opportunity comes with. The unseen and unknown areas are called blind spots. Pessimist are generally negative people whose view of life is always to look at the negative then work from there. They are good to have a round in necessary dosages, because they have the nose to pick up bad odours. The trick is before switching lanes check your blind spots they will give you an indication on when it’s the right time to move or not, but do not keep your eyes on them, because you still need to focus on the road ahead. If you look a split second longer you will surely loose your way.

My point is, every character has a positive contribution in your life you just need to learn to discern the right time to have them around and when not to.

Hazel Namponya 

Dream “CATCHERS”

Again! I have discovered that I was wrong about people that don’t believe in your dreams or in what you do. I’ve always had my heart broken, left miserable, bitter and offended when people didn’t believe in my dream, now that i think about it was really stupid. Anyways, people that don’t believe in your dreams are simply part of the natural selection process of people that will help you achieve your dreams and those that won’t, and those that don’t believe in you… won’t. Your focus should always remain on your dream. Those that don’t believe have automatically been removed from your path, you know not to reply or consult them because they are not part of your dream blueprint.

People that you should concern yourself with are those that are going your direction or have some level of influence towards your journey, it could be just giving you the right advise or taking you to the next bus stop. That’s progress at least.

Using Kevin Hart’s famous words “LET ME EXPLAIN”, let me explain! There is nothing more frustrating than catching a ride and you want to go to Cape Town and the car you have hitch-hiked is going to Cairo. You only realise when you’re in Kenya that you are going the wrong way. This means you have spent a significant amount of time going the wrong direction. Now these are the 3 choices that most people are faced with when this happens:

1. Back track and find your back to the starting point then work your way to their dream. Those that opt for this option would most probably have learnt their lesson and conjured up courage to fight for their dream.
2. Jump of in Kenya and find a way of making life work there. With this choice you end up living a compromised and mediocre life;
3. Because you have already made the bad decision, you see it through. Just go to Cairo with those that are going there. These are the people you see living a defeated life, they have given up hope. All they live for is to wait for their time to come to an end on this earth, that is if they do not end it themselves.

There is nothing as terrifying as waking up one day and realising that you married the wrong person. You don’t share the same dreams or vision, you may have made the wrong career move or studied the in the wrong field. Your decision is taking you to Cairo yet you want to go to Cape Town. Truthfully speaking, we have all had this experience at some point in our lives, and sometimes we land in these situations through different mean. Some through deception, lack of self- confidence or self- will, cohesion, desperation, not knowing your purpose or who you are, lack of discipline, lack of proper due diligence, ignorance, stupidity/idiocracy or just mere bad luck.

Perhaps before embarking on any journey make sure you have your map and campus, you know your desired destination and check what is motivating your move. You can achieve!

Bon Voyage!

Hazey Namponya 

Life’s TRUTH

Today I had the opportunity to watch the movie “Girls Trip” and it got me thinking about life. I watched these girls lives evolve and their friendship tested and refined as life threw all sorts of wheels and spanners at them. What I found fascinating was not the beginning nor ending of their story but that they lived life to the fullest in between. I realized that life is not a rehearsal it gives you “one take” and in a short time you’re thrown out of the cast. I then paused this question to myself, if we have been given this gift called life… yes it is a gift… until scientist can prove otherwise! Then why do we waste it? Why do we waste it hiding behind other people’s shadows, why do we waste it by pretending to be who we are not, why do we waste it living in fear?  Why do we waste it living according to someone else’s vision, version or view, because I promise you even they haven’t discovered what life is, they are still figuring it out? There is so much out there and each one of us has their own place and path! I don’t believe that the Creator in His infinite being and creation, created us to live in limitation. Prince Ea once said, the word SIN comes from the Greek word SIN, used in archery, which means to miss your mark. The greatest SIN in life is to miss your mark, to not be who you were created to be.  Every Archer decides on his/her own target, they position the bow and arrow in alignment with their target, and strive to hit the target. So it is with life! We all have our own paths, if you haven’t yet discovered yours go out and find it, find the thing that you were created to have dominion and thrive over, find your purpose and gift. But along that journey take time to appreciate those that are walking their path, show them love and kindness and little help when they need it.

I have also discovered that in order to find out what your purpose is you have to first discover who you are but to find out who you are you must open yourself up to infinite possibilities, open yourself up to exploring who you are and eventually becoming who you truly are. These girls (from the Girls Trip) discovered their own paths but with the support and help of each other. I felt that although they had their own personal struggles, their friendship was their safe space that allowed them to be themselves. They also experienced prejudice, judgement and fear in their friendship but because they came from a place of hope, love and trust they conquered. Now I know that not everyone is good at making friends or being part of a wolf pack but, what I know is that prejudice, judgement or fear comes from the outside but hope, love and trust comes from within you. Explore those and soon enough you will truly learn that “greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world”. You can become, you can hit your target. Write your own story, find your way to the true meaning of life.

Your wolf pack can be your family, siblings, community your bestie, your brotherhood and sisterhood, your workmates, girlfriend, boyfriend, your daughter, your son, your husband your wife or maybe your bar attendant at your favourite hangout spot, or just in your private closet. Embrace yours and come out!

Hazel Namponya

Fight the GOOD fight!

A few years ago, i was in the presence of someone I highly respected and regarded. Whilst chatting he bitterly expressed dismay at Christians that leave the church and later come back all beaten up and bruised and they expect him to assist them. He had made a resolution that he would stop entertaining these “type” of people because he felt used and unappreciated. Why do they leave church in the first place?

I remember feeling very uncomfortable and concerned about what he had said and the decision he had taken. It felt so wrong…. I understood where he was coming from but I could not help the unsettling feeling which honestly speaking, was mixed with a dash of offense. I guess my spirit pondered on it for a few years and continued questioning till I got the revelation.

Do you know that God has deployed most of us to be field agents? Just as law enforcement agents have an array of skilled labour that is deployed to collectively enforce the constitutional law and rules of the state, so is the Kingdom of God.

I’m sure you have heard of agents being wounded or dying on the job? Some going rogue, some disappear, some do become effective agents…the list goes on. We all have our role to play but we are deployed to fight crime in Gotham City…. Those that know Gotham City understand the horror that inhabits the city…. the villains have no regard for the law and never play fair. We have a high casualty turnover and that is because we have station commanders, such as this Apostle that have downed tools and turned his backs on his agents all because they come back wounded or get lost or are broken or they become rogue…!

The job of a commander is to provide leadership, covering and equip the force. If an angel deployed from heaven to deliver Daniel’s answer can get detained by the prince of Persia, what more a human being? Daniel had to pray and fast to see results and that is the job of saints, our victory is in prayer. When our fellow agents get caught up in war we fight, fight, fight for them by doing what we are supposed to do. So if you are a commander, take up your position and never leave, no matter what, if you are a water carrier like me, serve with diligence because your role is tied to a soul that is dependent on you! These souls are not ours to judge, they have been sent to you for stewardship or your help. If you don’t know how to help, turn to the one that put you on that assignment. He will guide you!

Remember that the souls you turn away because you feel they are undeserving of your help, are coming from the battle field as well, they themselves have been fighting other battles, battles that you would never survive if you were to be put in the field.

From experience there is nothing holy or glamorous about war, some battles agents have to war in, make no sense or and some are out-rightly unacceptable, but till we become the Creator and hold the master plan, we should not judge nor should we reject those that come for help or rest. Let’s war in prayer together!

Hazel Namponya

self-condemnation- a potent bacteria

I just want to encourage another believer. I just went through a short season where I felt defeated because I failed some tasks and didn’t overcome some hurdles, I was not obedient to some of His instructions. The voice of self-condemnation was so loud and everything around me  just seemed to confirm my worthlessness. So everyday I nagged the father, seeking Him in repentance, acknowledging my weaknesses and bombarding him with questions. Most times I felt I was just being ridiculous expecting Him to turn a blind eye on all my trash! But I also knew I couldn’t change me, I couldn’t make me a better person on my own …eehhmm believe me, I tried many times!

After going through a period of seeking Him I suddenly  felt better and restored. So I went back to the Father and I inquired, Lord what was that all about? He then says, Hazel, that was My way of bringing understanding. He wanted me to know where my heart truly was and also to show me the true condition of my heart. The test was to bring to my attention what i was habouring in my heart and how little I knew Him. He says, when things don’t seem to be going right will you still know who I am? will you still know who you are? Will you still trust me? The phase was to strengthen your faith.

Well I don’t know how i scored, but one thing is for sure, I got a glimpse of the Father heart of God .

He says I need you to believe my word when I say….. come as you are…. that no weapon formed against you will prosper….. that there is no condemnation in those that are in His Son…. 

I had a vision of a little boy in the playground who got hurt whilst playing, he immediately ran to his father to for help. His father attended to him with love and compassion, wiped off the dirt and blood, and applied healing balms, in no time the boy was up and running and back in the playground with others kids.

I then had another vision of a boy who also got hurt whilst playing, he thought to himself I cannot go and show my father this, ohh boy he will beat me up, he will be so mad at me and I am shamed and afraid that I have disappointed my Father. So the little boy decided not to go but try to attend to his wound, he thought to himself hmmm, after I am healed I will then go and show my father. So the boy tried all kinds of tricks and self medication to heal the wound. But the more he tried the worse the wound became causing it to become septic and and very painful. Harmful bacteria started breeding and spreading from the injured area into his blood stream causing him to be very sick. His father noticed that the boy was not well and called on him but he would not answer. His father sent his other brothers and sisters to help him but he would not answer their calls either. He did not answer because he felt guilty and ashamed, he felt he had let his father down and that he had disappointed Him.

This last boy is a resemblance of who we have become as Christians. We have been caught up in the enemies skeems and tricks and felt ashamed to come to the Father because

1. Of the perception we have of our Father, that He is this mean, stern and grumpy old man who does not tolerate any kind of sin or mistakes. You know that’s a complete lie right? When He says I am Light and Love that is it, that’s exactly who He is. Everything he does is out of love. Remember Love is “patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love never ends…”

 

2. What ever injuries you may have sustained, you keep to ourself because you think no one will understand or you feel that no one can help you. Well that maybe somewhat true; as mere mortals we have limited capacity, but the One who lives in you does not! Go to the Potter the one that created you, He knows every intricate part of you, He will help you and heal you. When you are left untreated, those conditions create the perfect environment for potent bacteria’s such as self-condemnation to start breeding, causing the wound to become septic. In some cases, the trauma of the wound may cause irreparable damages and sometimes can lead to your death.

It does not matter how big or small, or how old your wounds are, I encourage you to run to the Father, His arms are  wide open, actually it really pains Him to see you in that condition. If your earthly father loves and cares for you, what more the One that never sleeps or slumbers because he watches over you day and night. That’s how much He loves you.

Hazel Namponya

Hello 2017!

Nyaradzo has hit the nail on the head! When I first met her she inspired me to be AUDACIOUS. I later discovered that he word audacious can be used negatively or positively. It can mean (according to Google):

1. Showing a willingness to take surprisingly bold risks: or
2. Showing an impudent lack of respect.

I looked at some of the challenges in my life, and honestly speaking, I really didn’t have the “balls” to tackle some of them no matter how much i propped, psyched, encouraged or applied motivational techniques.

When I had a look at the second definition, i thought wait a tick… By disrespecting something, you’re undermining it, diminishing its value and ultimately rendering it powerless over you. As Nyaradzo rightfully quoted Muhammad Ali, he mastered and applied the defence and offense strategy. It is how come till today he is still revered as an Outlier in the boxing industry.

Look at your challenge differently instead of putting out fires, start it!
Take a risk and disrespect your challenge and Do It!

Hazel Namponya

Avodah Consultants

I‘ve been told a couple of times that motivation and inspiration remains easier said than done! It’s like telling someone who has over 50kg to lose weight as obesity threatens their life. You can give them a meal and exercise plan, get them to create a vision board and affirmations, coupled with their desire to be healthy, the task is still insurmountable and they would still fail. It is the same with success and personal growth particularly at such a time as this!

Behind you lies a chain of setbacks and challenges despite your good intentions, great strategy and seamless execution and 2017 seems hazy as you feel like you have done all you can and you wonder what next. Like the obese patient sitting in the Doctor’s office, you wonder how you will lose 50kg and save your life. I believe the key to soaring in 2017 is to DO

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Humans’ greatest battle “the grapefruit”

There is a raging war within us!

I have always wondered why as human beings we are always fighting and in a perpetual state of conflict between good and evil. On one hand, we lobby and fight for love and peace, on the other hate, evil and pandemonium. What we see on the surface and events happening around us and at a global level are simply a reflection and manifestation of what is within us. We all struggle with evil and love both battling to manifest itself and put on the best show for the world to see.

“Big Bang”

The who that comes out (love or evil) is determined by just one external entity that can perfectly align itself with one element in you. Once those two agree and alliance is formed, the external entity then persistently works on amalgamating it’s with the element. I call this process the “Big Bang”. When the Big Bang is complete, there is no chance of reversing or separate the element from the entity, at this point mutation starts which leads is to evolution and all we can do is sit and wait to see what beast manifests.

This has been my revelation on what really happened in the garden of Eden and what happens to us all the time when sin is introduced into our lives.

The seed

Let me decode the “Big Bang” for a minute! It’s like the concept of the seed, the seed knows what it is with conviction, if it is an orange it knows its and orange and it can only bear orange fruit. It may not know, how many fruits it will bear, how many times and when, how many leaves it will have or be shed off but it knows that is an orange. By this I mean the seed does not know the intricate details its growth but it is certain about two things, that is: it will manifest and it will be an orange. The seed is convicted about what it is and nothing can ever change that. From the beginning of time, this is the conviction we had about who we were, nothing could ever change us. Think about when you started your journey in life, when you started your business, when you got married marriage, what happened?  What corrupted the seed?

Now referring to the entity and element, in this case the entity is the seed and for the fruits of the seed to be made manifest it needs the element of belief. Belief will work persistently on the seed till the “Big Bang”. The manifestation is then the seed dying and germinating. belief is the soil and nourishment the seed needs to germinate and grow. The dosage of the belief also determines if the tree will be stunted, healthy or productive tree that will reproduce itself (be fruitful, multiply and replenish). The seed is not in control of anything round its environment but only that which has been planted in itself. The seed is instructed to protect that through its existence. The rest is beyond it control to a point that it has no clue neither it is aware of what it takes to grow it. The seed was never given the ability nor capacity to do so.

Now at some point something discovered the secret to the seed

This thing discovered that it will never be able to destroy the seed nor stop it from bearing fruit but it can alter its origins by adding to it. The intension of the addition is to pervert the seed by bringing confusion to its fruits, which will perpetuate and multiply from one generation to the next it to a point where it alters its composition and it cannot be sustained, self-destruction will be the only solution.

The mind is the original seed and sin is the alternate or catalyst that is used to differ the seed from its origin. This is illustrated through what transpired in the garden of Eden between Adam and Eve and what happens within us ourselves daily. I must however unpackage this alternate or catalyst. Sin is not the seed, it is the end result, it is an unadulterated fruit in its purest form. See, this fruit is not permitted to grow anywhere else except in darkness, but just like any creation it yearns and desires to perpetuate itself. If it cannot perpetuate itself in its purest form, cross pollination would be the next best option. The seed that sin cross pollinates is called “thought”. When “thought lands in the “mind” and if the conditions are conducive for the “thought” the two die and merge so they can sprout/germinate as one. This is why there is always a lag time from the first time a “thought” enters your mind to the time you act it out or action to it.

A tree spouts!

Each tree/plant has its own special dietary requirements, they maybe similarities within one family group but each has a specific distinction or marker, this is what separates the tires from wheat, this is what separates the orange from the grape. The dietary requirement are determined by the nutrients or food that we feed our minds or rather what our minds demand and crave. You will know what your mind wants by the things you are drawn too. This will surely be the first indication or warning of what you will produce. For example, when you find that your mind always wants to know things, you are a curious little bug, you’re an information magnet, it’s almost certain that you are an information resource centre. One of your core functions or competencies would be information dissemination. The distinctive marker of whether you will use the information for edification or gossip is all dependent on what nutrients you were feeding your mind, is it lies or truth, is it exaggeration or fact, do you believe or do you not believe the list goes one. The point is, you are an information resource centre will remain that till your death but whether you become an orange or grapefruit is entirely up to you.

If the mayhem around us is a product of who we are, then we need to change who we are. In my next blog I want to go into the nitty gritty of a grapefruit and what it really is.  I would like to hear your thoughts, views and revelation of the grapefruit.

Till we blog again, stay blessed!

Hazel Namponya

A girl’s first time!

Well today is my first time…. i am sure most of you can remember your first time… and your first…..! fumbling around, not sure what to do or say, what to expect or even how its done. i am nervous and i am not sure i am ready. So much, so much is going through my mind right now…. my fingers are shaaaakkkking as i type my first blog!

I have been inspired to create this blog because i want the share or get your thoughts on some controversial spiritual issues and revelations i have had that are not so biblical. I hope i will leave a palatable taste in your mouth after all is said and done.

I will post more tomorrow.

Hazel Namponya